Sunday, December 21, 2008

Down Day

Ok so I know I have a million things in the world to be thankful for and excited about but today I am depressed. I don't just mean sad, I mean depressed. I was like this yesterday too. I cried all day....had a headache....just felt empty and down.

I hate feeling this way and I feel silly for feeling this way when I read about other things going on in some of my blogger buddies' lives. It makes me feel selfish. I know that I put myself here and what's done it done, but there is nothing that is helping me to feel better. I don't know what to do with myself. I am tired of sitting around my house....shopping doesn't help, running doesn't help, absolutely nothing helps.

Christmas is 4 days away and normally I'm so excited I can't wait, but this year....it feels like it's just another day in the year. I am scared and worried about myself. I've never felt this down and sad before....I don't know what to do. How can I be so depressed when I just landed such an amazing job?

I miss my David...I miss him dearly. I wish I was married. I wish I was celebrating Christmas with my husband in 4 days.....I am so lonely and empty and my heart is broken. We still talk and things are ok, but it is so hard....everyday is hard....and I don't see it getting better.

I'm praying so hard for God to give me strength, but I just can't feel better!!! I want to so bad, but I just can't!!! It's so frustrating and complicated.....

How do I move forward?

What is wrong with me?

7 comments:

Following Him said...

NOTHING is wrong with you. You had a tough day...everyone does. Not in the same boat, but God only gives you the trials you can overcome. Hang in there Heather! Life will, I know, get better!!!
~Elyse~

Angel7502 said...

Elyse is right. NOTHING is wrong with you. I admire you for being able to acknowledge those feelings. That is the first step in the healing process. I do not want to sound like a broken record, but it will get better!!

Keep smiling!! Keep loving people around you who support you unconditionally.

ash said...

when things get too overwhelming, I too tend to shut down. the best way for me to cope is to deal in daytight compartments. get through one day and before you know it you'll have a ton behind you.

keep your head up! you have so much good going on for you right now. you WILL be ok!!

Melissa said...

Honey....I am SOOOO sorry you are feeling this way!! Please e-mail me and we can be "down" and talk on a more personal level (it's easier to say some things when you don't have to worry about it being 100% public).
Even if you don't feel comfortable e-mailing me, please know that you are in my prayers!!!

Head Nut said...

Big hugs to you. Nothing is wrong with you. You are grieving the end of a relationship. One that meant a lot to you. I pray that things will get better for you. Just think of all you have to look forward to when you move for your new job!

Honey Mommy said...

I think everyone goes through times when they just have a hard time being happy. Lots of things are changing in your life, so just give it some time and it will get better!

Hang in there!

Jen B. said...

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you! I think it's totally normal to feel the way you do after everything you've been through. Stay strong.... things WILL get better, it will just take time. I'll be praying for you!